So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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