It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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