Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
