dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
