Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
