I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Is Oprah even human
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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