so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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