So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize