Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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