Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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