I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
