It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
