Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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