Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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