Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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