I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
She's the barista slut.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
