he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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