Me. At least after what I've been through.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
