The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
How does one acquire holy water?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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