Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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