have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
