Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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