we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
