Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
