i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
