It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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