I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
