Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
