We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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