so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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