you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
