I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
