i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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