ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
