giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
