dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The best revenge is premature balding
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize