Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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