im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
