"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
