Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
