Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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