So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
