I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
