It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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