Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
