girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
