He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
