I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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