One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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