you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize