if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
