i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
