hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
