As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
