he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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