I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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