New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize