if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
