my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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