What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
why do cheetos always look like penises
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
