Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
