"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Randomize
