I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Rumble strips road head = magical
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
