drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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