Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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